INFJs are often described as the most complex and mysterious of the 16 Myers-Briggs types. That’s an understatement. They have this magnetic quality that draws people in, but there’s a twist they’re also frequently abandoned or misunderstood by the very people who admire them.
So, why does this happen? Today, we’re going to break down five reasons why INFJs are initially admired but ultimately left behind.
Reason #5: The INFJ’s Deep Empathy and Intuition
INFJs can sense what others are feeling, even when those people aren’t saying a word. We often seem to understand people on a level that most others can’t. We pick up on emotions or hidden motives with scary accuracy.
People admire INFJs for their ability to listen without judgment and their desire to help others heal and grow. Our insights often feel like advice from a wise old soul, sometimes much older than we are in real life.
However, people can get pretty weirded out by our predictions about the future. They literally cannot understand how INFJs can see how things will play out so clearly. This has led to INFJs being coined, especially on the internet, as “psychic.” But we’re not magical we’re just really good at recognizing patterns from the past and extrapolating them into the future.
Still, this doesn’t stop people from thinking of us as some kind of wizard. “You’re a wizard, Harry.” “I’m a what?” This can make people uncomfortable or even jealous of our predictive abilities, and they may end up ghosting us.
Reason #4: The INFJ’s Visionary Nature
INFJs are admired for their visionary thinking. We’re always imagining ways to make the world a better place and often have big ideas that challenge the status quo. This makes us incredibly inspiring to some people.
These individuals love being around INFJs because our passion and vision are contagious. However, not everyone can keep up with an INFJ’s growth mindset in the long term. Over time, people may feel unable to match our level of ambition, enthusiasm, or interest.
Most people prefer the comfort of the societal “box” they live in. Growth, research, and learning can feel like a painful state for them, but for INFJs, it’s our natural state. We’re always learning and applying new ideas, but this future-oriented mindset can tire others. Eventually, they retreat to their comfort zones, leaving the INFJ feeling deserted.
Reason #3: We Hide Our Strengths
INFJs are unique and often highly skilled in a variety of areas. Our love of research, learning, reading, podcasts, educational content, and doing a great job at whatever we undertake leads to us developing many talents.
Strangely, we often see ourselves as less skilled than others, but deep down, we know our strengths. We’ve learned to hide them because when we openly share our abilities, people can reject us.
Eventually, though, others notice our talents. You’d think this would lead to admiration, but it often makes people feel deceived or jealous. From that point, they may start acting differently toward us and even ghost us.
Reason #2: The INFJ’s Need for Solitude
INFJs need a lot of solitude to recharge. We’re introverts by nature, and while we love deep connections, we also require alone time to process our thoughts and emotions.
At first, this need for solitude may seem intriguing or mysterious to others. People might admire how we’re empathetic and outgoing, yet also disappear for days to recharge.
However, our empathy can overwhelm us. Feeling deeply for others can lead to emotional burnout. Every INFJ knows what it feels like to have their energy drained. It’s not just physical it’s like someone has taken a spiritual hypodermic needle and drawn out our soul.
When INFJs retreat to recharge, many people misunderstand. They might think we don’t care about them anymore. Explaining our need for solitude doesn’t always help. If people refuse to understand, it can lead to them ghosting us.
Reason #1: INFJs Expect Others to Care
INFJs seek deep, meaningful friendships and expect their friends to care about the relationship. We don’t settle for superficial connections we need someone who can meet us halfway, both emotionally and intellectually.
Because INFJs balance emotion and intellect, finding people who match us can be challenging. This often leads to dissatisfaction on both sides. Some people find our emotional depth overwhelming, while we might find others too shallow.
Should INFJs lower their standards for friendships? No. Just as Michael Jordan wouldn’t settle for playing basketball at a local YMCA, INFJs shouldn’t settle for unfulfilling relationships.
INFJs have a rare gift a combination of emotion and logic and we deserve relationships that reflect our unique qualities.
Final Thoughts
It may seem paradoxical, but it’s true: INFJs are often admired and then abandoned. If someone disappears on you, it’s likely for the best. Remember, your time is too valuable to waste on people who can’t accept you for who you are.
As an INFJ, embrace your uniqueness and keep seeking meaningful connections. You are not the problem.
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