Understanding INFJ Weirdness: Five Unique Habits
I’m Jay Scott, INFJ educator and coach. Today, we’re diving into INFJ weirdness. Here are five habits that you probably have as an INFJ that others might find downright weird.
1. Mindful Obsessing
INFJs can sometimes become fixated on certain thoughts or ideas, playing them over and over in their mind like a favorite song. They might analyze past conversations or future possibilities in great detail, often seeking deeper meanings or hidden patterns. This stems from a massive skill in pattern recognition. INFJs are very in touch with what’s happening logically in the world in other words, what is actually happening. But unlike many others, we are also extremely in tune with what’s happening emotionally.
Most other personality types are afraid of their emotions and the emotions of others. INFJs don’t readily share their emotions with others, but they are comfortable examining emotional situations. We often avoid sharing because we’ve seen how others react when we dive into deep topics they don’t handle it well. INFJs aren’t afraid to get philosophical or deep, but many have experienced taking someone too deep in a conversation too quickly. The other person gets uncomfortable, and frankly, most people equate a brief deep conversation to a root canal at the dentist.
INFJs are unique in their ability to observe the state of affairs in the world and see where people let emotions cloud their judgment. While others fall into groupthink, INFJs are not easily manipulated or brainwashed. However, this strength can lead to obsessiveness. We might replay past conversations, wondering if we said or did the right thing, or doubt our intuition. This self-doubt can even extend to questioning our personality type: “Am I really an INFJ? I better take that test again.”
Solution: Developing self-confidence and self-trust is crucial for INFJs. Reflect on your successes and stand up for yourself as much as you stand up for others.
2. Sudden High Hibernation
In social situations, INFJs are usually warm, inviting, and kind but it’s secretly exhausting. Occasionally, we withdraw unexpectedly when overwhelmed by external stimuli or simply need to recharge. We’re picking up feelings from everyone, which can be draining. INFJs might disappear without warning, freaking people out because we’re there one minute and out the side door the next.
This retreat is necessary to restock our energy stores. The outside world can feel like a war zone to INFJs. Many can recall a time perhaps a bullying workplace or high school where they were near PTSD from the trauma. Unlike most people, who might overlook manipulative or toxic behavior, INFJs see and feel it all. For others, abuse often leads to passing it on to someone else. For INFJs, mistreatment is like “death by a thousand cuts,” akin to being stung to death by hornets.
Solution: Don’t be afraid to hide away and recharge when needed, but ensure you return to the world to maintain mental health. Prolonged isolation (weeks or months) can lead to the dreaded Ni-Ti loop, which I’ll cover in a future article. Avoid abusive people they are poison to INFJs.
3. Symbolic Collecting
Many INFJs collect objects with personal or symbolic significance, such as vintage postcards or obscure trinkets. Each item carries a story or memory that resonates deeply with the INFJ’s inner world. This habit reflects the INFJ’s rich emotional landscape, which is deeper and more complex than any other personality type.
Initially, I found this habit debatable, but upon reflection, I realized I cherish several meaningful objects. For example, I have a watch my grandfather left me, a necklace that reads Luctor et Emergo (Latin for “I struggle and emerge”), and a tattoo that says Nil Desperandum (Latin for “never give up”), which is the motto of this channel. These objects reflect my life motto and individuality.
4. Emotional Alchemy
Alchemy is the transformation of one thing into another. INFJs possess a unique ability to transform their emotions into creative expression. When faced with intense feelings, we channel them into art, writing, or other creative outlets. This process turns inner turmoil into something beautiful and meaningful, offering catharsis and fostering self-discovery.
INFJs are the world’s innovators, pushing boundaries even when resisted. They can be great artists, writers, teachers, parents, or employees, always bringing a unique perspective. However, this uniqueness can attract envy. Others may steal INFJ innovations, become angry or abusive, or work to outcast the INFJ in families, relationships, or workplaces.
5. Intuitive Rituals
INFJs are highly attuned to their intuition, often relying on gut feelings to guide decisions. Our predictions are accurate because we blend logic and emotion, despite being labeled “too emotional” online. As a result, INFJs may develop quirky rituals or superstitious patterns, believing, “If I don’t do this, things might go wrong.” For example, I used to leave my right shoe slightly ahead of my left when taking them off (I’ve since stopped, now just tossing salt over my shoulder!).
Whether it’s a premonition in a dream that alters your morning routine or a lucky charm you carry, these rituals provide comfort and security in an unpredictable world. These habits, while unusual to others, are manifestations of the INFJ’s rich inner world deeper and more complex than most can imagine.
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